Hotel California


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Good evening,

Been doing lots of shooting.. and getting shot. Photos above from January 15. Early mornings and late-night diners have somehow helped me shed a few pounds. Yesterday I pulled a pair of size 1 jeans from my suitcase and felt astonished at how baggy they had become. What’s next – kids’ clothes? Back at home til next week’s filming date with lovely Kianna Dior. Between now and then I will be updating websites and checking out Sky Cabaret, new home to longtime friend/nightclub manager  Rainier. He and I worked together for many years at legendary Wild Goose in Inglewood. “You can dance if you like.” Rainier’s text message read this morning. “Let’s see how I feel after a few drinks.” I responded. Do I want to return to dancing? Notion reminds me of a famous Eagles’ lyric:

“You can check-out any time you like, but you can never leave.”

Come to think of it, that song sums up my whole relationship with Los Angeles – I try to depart and a magnetic force pulls me back.  Extremely tired right now and need to untease an elaborate hairstyle before I wash out all the hairspray. Hope everyone is doing well. I shall return in the morning..

XO Tanya


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Good afternoon. Still in utopia with luxurious linens and new coffee maker 😉 Enjoyed very pleasant morning at home and am now getting ready to embark on first round of shooting for 2016. I see blue skies and cheap motels ahead..


Hope everyone is having a great week!

XO Tanya



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Perfect Morning






This morning I rose before dawn to go jogging, took a long shower, toweled off with plushest lavender towels in existence, and enjoyed a steaming cup of coffee from brand new Keurig coffee maker. Thank you so much, Don, for luxurious new towel set! I love it. Not sure if you noticed but towels match green and lavender striped robe you bought me last year (wearing it right now to stave off 48 degree LA morning chill.) Did receive your note about shower curtain but it has not yet arrived. I send you a million kisses and hugs for your kindness.

Awesome new Keurig coffee maker replaces trusty old Mr. Coffee machine which I’ve been jerry-rigging since the Bush administration. I really do try to hang in there with my appliances but Mr. Coffee doesn’t even have a functional basket anymore. Thank you, anonymous individual, for state-of-the-art new Keurig machine, coffee/tea/hot chocolate pods, and convenient storage drawer! I shall toast your generosity each and every morning. Even picked up new coffee cup (bottom pic)  to celebrate my computer-oriented, deskbound lifestyle 😉

Thank you again, Don and Anonymous Stranger. Your Wish List gifts will continue to delight me for many, many mornings to come. I wish you both tremendous joy and abundance in this coming year.

XOXO Tanya




Video Deal of the Week


Mysterious woman in shadows ponders fate of broken city..

Assistant DA Tanya Proctor toils relentlessly to drive criminals from once thriving metropolis of Parker City. Unbeknownst to coworkers and good citizens Ms. Proctor also harbors a very dark secret. Download American Angel – Volume 1 to watch Tanya Proctor battling forces of evil.. along with her own personal demons. This week only American Angel – Volume 1 reduced to $33.99 (normally $69.99.) Special pricing good through January 17, 2016.

XO Tanya

P.S. Special thanks to Giantessbook for the amazing photo rendering of Ms. Proctor. Image above inspired me to put American Angel – Volume 1 on sale this week.



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Good afternoon,

Since New Year’s Eve Hedy Lamarr, Marilyn Monroe, and Joan Bennett have been breezing about my place as I edit photos and prepare website updates. I love old noir flicks with glamorous femmes fatales and cynical storylines. Many take place in LA, often featuring older architecture in the city. Stark black-and-white landscapes suck me out of the present moment, especially since I live in a building of 1920s construction. How easily I forget about the modern world outside my door. Earlier today I felt like an alien in a spaceship when I climbed into my car to run errands. Men in saggy pants paraded past windshield, schoolkids pressed cellphones to ears, rectilinear condominium developments filled all available space. I have a fantasy about moving someplace very remote. Any farmers out there need an apprentice? I possess amazing stamina.

Hope everyone is having a great Friday!

XO Tanya


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Ghost of New Year’s Past









Good afternoon,

I greet you from home on a rainy Tuesday. Love the rain! As if to smite the words from my last post I just encountered a gallery of photos from 2009 entitled “New Year” and from all appearances I was celebrating something (presumably New Year’s Eve) and not at home. Pics above seem to trace a course from late at night until following morning. Presence of champagne with morning paper indicates some type of festive event. In all likelihood I had booked motel room for a shoot and then just stayed overnight to party with friends. I do see trademark Days Inn rising sun logo on paper cup in bottom pic. And clearly I spared no expense on that fine bottle of Korbel champagne 😉

Came across these shots whilst perusing a flash drive of content (thanks, Mikey!) from former Members’ Area.  Getting ready to launch new auctions so I was looking for footage corresponding to specific items of wardrobe in my closet. About to have lunch but will continue closet cleaning/organizing mission afterward. Hope everyone is having a great Tuesday!

XO Tanya



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New Year’s Eve


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Good evening,

With cup of hot tea on desk I am watching Repeat Performance (set on New Year’s Eve 1947) and editing photos. Each year I renew long-established tradition of staying home on this holiday while rest of world parties. I like to greet January 1 without a hangover 😉 Viewing Repeat Performance for second time since 2014 and highly recommend it. Love Joan Leslie. Next up I will be enjoying Marilyn Monroe, Lauren Bacall, and  Betty Grable in How to Marry a Millionaire.


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Happy New Year!!! May 2016 bring tremendous joy and rich returns on your kindness. I truly appreciate the sweetness, generosity, and spirit of all who visit me here. Very much looking forward to spending another exciting twelve months with you.

XOXO Tanya



Santa’s Helpers

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Good evening,

Photos above come from December 16, 2013 – two weeks after breast surgery and two days before foot surgery. Do I look a bit shell-shocked? I felt it. Mad rush to make as much money as possible lead me to start shooting too soon. Honestly, I had scrambled all year to cover portions of surgeries which insurance would not – dancing, shooting, dancing, shooting, dancing shooting – and just barely succeeded before I lost insurance policy at year’s end. As mentioned previously I came within days of losing my home in a foreclosure proceeding around this same time. I am forever grateful to Jet Strip nightclub for putting me on payroll, (almost unheard of in an era when 95% of dancers pay clubs for privilege of working), during this challenging era. I thought about sending club a “thank you” card later on but wondered if they would think I was a dork. The Jet Strip, their customers, friends who visited me there, STJ, and all of my valued custom video collectors really came through with a vengeance in 2013. Eternal gratitude and a million thank yous to all of you. May your generosity revisit you throughout the years.

Funny how those pics took me back. Tonight I had merely been planning to post a few Santa shots with brief commentary before going to bed. Photos revived 2013.. in reality, I should have been lying in a couch on December 16, 2013, recovering from first surgery and preparing for next one, but morbid fear haunted me: “What if I can’t work for months after double foot surgery? How will I pay my bills?” I wanted to keep shooting til the very end – so I did. Seems a little extreme now but it did give me peace of mind at the time. Still remember the last 3 customs I filmed on that day – thanks, Jerry, Mikey, and Chris!

Happy Holidays to everyone who has read this far. May all of you enjoy a great New Year’s Eve and much joy in 2016.

Oh, yes… almost forgot to provide a link to the video which prompted me to start writing tonight. Footage made me do a double take earlier – check this out.

XO Tanya




Xmas Abundance



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Happy Holidays! Think I have engaged in more activities this season than any other in memory – big change from last year. This December I made it a point to volunteer for charitable endeavors and get together with old friends. Now, back at home with endless pot of tea on stove, I am updating websites, editing photos, answering e-mails, and trying to get things back in order.

A million thank yous to Don, Apollo, Bob, Mikey, JM, two Anonymous Strangers, and Brad for astounding Xmas gifts!!!! Your kindness made my day when I finally visited mailbox to load up my car. Muuuuaaaaahhhhhh!!!!! I will try to incorporate many of your wonderful presents into upcoming shoots. On days near home I will be enjoying new laptop, perfume, earrings, Starbucks card, books, journals, Uggs, and running shoes. Thanks again to all of you for your amazing generosity. May your sweet sentiments return a thousandfold to your own doorsteps. All of you deserve the best and I feel blessed to have you in my life.

Tonight or tomorrow morning I shall return to answer blog comments. Hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas!

XO Tanya

P.S. One of my neighbors thoughtfully gifted me with a bag of lemons from his family’s yard (top pic.) Fruit represents abundance and, to me, lemons have very special significance. You know the old expression: “When life gives you lemons make lemonade.” Actually, I use their juice for body scrub – superb exfoliant when mixed with baking soda 😉




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Good afternoon,

Still haven’t answered blog comments, e-mails, or gone to my mailbox. However, in addition to getting sloshed with my friends, I have accomplished a few things. Legendary wrestler Robin and I met at the STJ ring to settle some differences. Despite bitter California cold (60 degrees) we donned skimpy bikinis, braved elements, battled for honor. Tis the season for vengeance 😉

XO Tanya



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Around the Corner








Good evening,

I greet you from home. Above pics trace trajectory of my day. After photographing decorated palm trees I motored into the sunshine and met my friend Joe at The Palms, new home to many of my former coworkers from now defunct Wild Goose. We talked, we laughed and it really felt like old times where I could simply speak freely without anyone raising eyebrows or looking at me like I had just descended from outer space. It made me feel like dancing again. After one Stoli on the rocks and two Guinness I knew that I had better head home. Rain pelted asphalt in torrents (2nd pic from top), quite a change from earlier landscape. With maximum focus I grasped steering wheel at 10 and 2 o’clock positions, drove safely. When nature called I stopped at a bar about a mile from my home. Signs identified men’s room next to a unisex restroom. This suggested presence of a ladies’ room but I didn’t have patience to find it.  Third pic from top shows scene which greeted me behind unisex door. It looks way worse in real life but I gamely pulled down jeans, tried to avoid surface contact. Fellow patrons proved friendly, generous, intoxicated. My car still sits in parking lot attached to bar because I walked home in the rain, enjoying every moment. Photos from 2000 (four pics from bottom) appear in this chronology because I shot them after turning a corner in my life. Things seem to be shaping up the same way now. I hope so.

Must pack for shoot but I shall return later tonight or tomorrow morning. I wish everyone a pleasant night!

XO Tanya



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Tis the Season

The tree is up


Good morning,

Although I make little concession for the holidays I have somehow fallen behind on everything this month. In the next few days I plan to pick up mail, answer blog comments, clear out inbox but first.. I must have a cocktail. Meeting some old friends who have relocated to a new club since the closing of legendary Wild Goose. Hope all of you are enjoying the weekend!

XO Tanya



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Whiskey Bottle and Classic Car


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Since October mysterious 1970 Plymouth Valiant has prowled my neighborhood, inspiring second text version of Blonde Dahlia. Several weeks ago I claimed parking spot next to Valiant. Following morning’s early shoot time would enable me to photograph vehicle when  no one (like car’s owner) would see me and wonder what I was doing. Shortly after sunrise I emerge from home to discover that Valiant has already departed, leaving solitary bottle of Jack Daniels in its wake. Discomfited, I load suitcases into car, hit road. As noted in post from November I have recently been listening to biography of Lynrd Skynrd. Maybe that explains why odd lyrics (mostly culled from Sknyrd’s That Smell) begin floating through my head:

Whiskey bottle and classic car

Smoke screen, you’re in the way

There’s too many schemes and too many scenes

Fear is welling up inside you

Ooooh that smell

Can’t you smell that smell

Ooooh that smell

Devil’s torment surrounds you

I motor on, driving into fog as memories spray windshield , drift over car. Sun rises behind cloud cover, wattage diminished by atmospheric conditions.

Misty morning and shining star

Choked scream, too much to say

There’s too much coke and too many jokes

Tears are welling up inside you

Ooooh that smell

Can’t you smell that smell

Ooooh that smell

Fermented death surrounds you

Car veers toward sidewalk, bounces off curb, parks. I pull out pad of paper, unsure if I want to remember strangely modified lyrics or not.

Angel of surcease is upon you,

Stuck a needle in your heart,

So take another toke, have a blow for your nose,

One more drink fool, will drown you..

Thoroughly rattled, I shut Pleather folio with defiance, as if I can escape verses just by expunging them onto paper. Words linger..

Much later – after work and after nightfall – I revisit Blonde Dahlia shoot. Original source material contains 789 unedited images, including those from same day filming of Black Magic Sexfight and POV Class A Blowjob. Inadvertently comedic aspect of some shots vanquishes dark clouds from my psyche. Below you see co-star Goldie giving her best male pornstar face, cumshot emitting from nozzle of plastic condiment bottle instead of dick, and condiment bottle resting in plain sight because we forgot to hide it.

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Afterward Goldie and I change outfits, proceed with other business (Black Magic Sexfight):

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Goldie departs and disgraced pageant queen Carrie Prejean shows up (POV Class A Blowjob):

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Above photos (aside from whiskey bottle at top) reflect how I spent Monday, September 26, 2011.  No wonder I have occasional bouts of madness.. and hear peculiar tunes inside my head. Just think of all the videos I have produced over the decades – constantly changing outfits, characters, locations, etc. So far this week I have wrestled legendary Robin of and am now preparing for a round of custom videos which feature very imaginative storylines. Tomorrow I shall return to post new photos and answer blog comments. Hope everyone is having a great week!

XO Tanya



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Tally Ho!





Good morning,

Not long ago I noticed an amazing roadside statue in a very unlikely spot. Somehow I failed to make a mental note of its location.  Memories of the statue bedeviled me until I took a road trip specifically to find it, packing laptop in car because I needed to finish editing a photo gallery within the day. Statue eluded me for hours as I motored through Artesia, Bellflower, Hawaiian Gardens. Finally I stopped at a donut shop where I could back myself into a corner and work on nudie pics without anyone looking over my shoulder. That proved impossible. Every corner table had a window behind it. Tried Starbucks but people, phones, backpacks filled all seats. Fate guided me to a tavern even though I should have resisted. As sky grew dimmer outside I decided to splurge on a motel for the night (top pic.) King-size bed in room extended from nearly wall to wall. I ordered pizza, reclined on gigantic mattress, and tried to figure out how to operate television with 6000 channels. Later, immersed in laptop, a funny memory floated into my head: photographer Gucci Lamour (who shot three bedroom pics above) once told me that he always edited photos during his frequent plane flights from Los Angeles to Atlanta.  That still makes me chuckle.

The following morning, brimming with coffee and determination, I set out to find statue. Vaguely familiar landmark – whimsical signage on Tally Ho Apartments in Bellflower –  titillated my subconscious. I parked car and started walking. “Welcome to Cerritos” pillar greeted me as I crossed bridge over Los Angeles River (yes, LA does have a much-ignored river.) Looking downward I saw a covered wagon (!)  on an unpaved trail next to the bridge. Fascinated, I descended onto pathway, half expecting someone to bellow: “Stop! You’re on private property!” No one did. Wood and metal comprised vintage 4- wheeled vehicle and it had a spigot on one end. Maybe it used to carry water?




Venturing back into civilization I stopped in my tracks. Sunlight glinted off muscular body of bronze deity just a few hundred feet in front of me! He looked even more spectacular than I remembered.  Let me say right now that these shots with $50 point-and-shoot camera do not do him justice:



Face of statue has a downright haunting quality when viewed in person. Upon returning home I Googled  such terms as “Atlas in Cerritos”, “Poseidon in Cerritos”, “Greek God Artesia Blvd. Cerritos” until misguided searches yielded accurate info:

“Strength of the Maker” was created by Colorado artist Denny Haskew and depicts a Native American man bending a bow across his back. The bronze sculpture is meant to represent the strength of a higher power that created nature and man. It measures 60 inches high and 60 inches wide including the bow.

In creating the piece, Haskew, a member of the National Sculptors Guild, states, “’Strength of the Maker’ right from its title…to the strength shown even in the toes, is a statement of how I view my very inner belief. Nature and all things natural have always been of the utmost importance to me all my life. Believing in a God, the Great Spirit, Buddha, Mohammed, the Mysterious One and any other beings of greatness is important. I feel they all exude the same message, a life of oneness, of love, of honesty and a source of emotional strength. ‘Strength of the Maker’ is my visual version of how I see my Maker.”

Later I found artist Denny Haskew’s website. He does incredible work, including other pieces in and around Los Angeles that I will go visit. Wonder who commissioned “Statue of the Maker” – City of Cerritos or private corporation or   ? Check out unlikely locale:


Hope everyone is having a great weekend! I will be staying home and hoping for rain. We had a little on Thursday night and our still-parched Southern California soil can use more.

XO Tanya



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New Moon




After a day spent fighting crime superheroine Virtue crashed at budget motel before returning to Hall of Justice the following morning. (pics above.)

Actually, that didn’t really happen. On Monday afternoon I attended a memorial gathering for my friend Andy, drank too much afterward, and decided to book a motel room (in top pic you can see waning crescent moon – just a little pinprick of light in upper right-hand corner.) Awakened by raucous neighbors early the next day I dressed, headed to post office to mail a package that had been riding in my car for a week. What a great post office (second pic from top) – plaque identified it as a classic Moderne structure built in 1934. I wanted to photograph plaque but someone was sleeping in front of it. Bottom pic comes from a new, super-powered video at

Andy’s family presided over a truly heartwarming memorial on December 7. Coincidentally, his brother read the same Dalai Lama quotation that I had posted earlier in the day. Many present shared stories about Andy and discussed ways to honor his legacy of kindness and passion. His family is hoping to set up a photojournalism scholarship in his name at Kansas State. Maybe a month or two ago the homeowners’ association at Andy’s residence (where I also live) removed a bench in front of the building because homeless people were sleeping on it. Andy had protested vociferously. Many here are now hoping to replace the bench and also add a plaque in his memory.

On the morning of Andy’s memorial I had contacted his friend to let him know of Andy’s passing. Already alerted through the Facebook grapevine Earl had posted this awesome pic from a trip to India. Naturally, Andy is holding a camera and occupying the center of conversation. Even in a foreign land he retained the gift of gab :)

I am adjusting to my friend’s absence although I think of him often. Time to resume normal activities. New moon is rising on December 11. Guess that means I should start posting nudie pics again 😉



Superheroine Virtue has been feeling a little beat up lately (Twisted Demon) but she will recover. So shall l. Off to take a shower – be back in a few minutes to answer blog comments. Hope everyone is having a great week!

XO Tanya




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Good morning,

Today I will be attending a memorial for my friend Andy. He and I first met about ten years ago when I moved into my current residence. I left the building but returned in 2013. Frequently Andy and I watched football, got coffee, enjoyed monthly art walks in our neighborhood, or just sat and talked. Recently he had seemed a bit restless. “What do I do for the world?” he asked one night while pacing his living room floor. “I mean.. what do I do for anybody.. aside from making money for my boss?” He seemed to be imploring the Universe for an answer rather than just speaking to me. “You are positive within your sphere.” I replied. “Each day you have a warm smile and a kind word for everyone. You brighten the world around you. Just think if everyone did that.” He stopped and blinked, as if I had unexpectedly tossed something in his face. “Thank you for saying that.” he said after a long pause.

On November 8, 2015 Andy and I met for coffee at a joint down the street. He thrust his phone at me rather insistently, saying: “Read this.” On the screen appeared the Dalai Lama image and quotation which I have now placed at the top of this post. After getting home I asked him to e-mail it to me. Twenty days later Andy died of a massive heart attack. To my awareness he had not been experiencing any health issues. In fact, he trained religiously at a local Gold’s Gym and rode his bicycle everywhere. The Dalai Lama quotation seems fitting here because Andy truly heeded the admonition in those words. He worked a regular job but also took time off to travel and photograph the world. His passions included the Kansas City Chiefs, Kansas State Wildcats (Andy’s alma mater), Breaking Bad, The Big Lebowski, and Bernie Sanders. He approached life with good cheer and burning intensity. In a recent conversation Andy expressed tremendous admiration for a friend, Wandering Earl, who navigates the globe and documents unusual adventures. I think Andy aspired to that lifestyle.

Andy, thank you for your friendship. Your kindness, sincerity, and great sense of humor invigorated many of my days and I will try to carry your thoughtful, generous spirit and unique perspective with me. Although I feel very saddened by your absence I like to think that you are now embarking on yet another great exploration. Say hello if you can, my friend. Hope to see you again.

Somehow I have written all these words with little mention of Andy’s overriding purpose in this earthly life. Please take a moment to view his amazing body of photographic work. The images speak for themselves.





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