Lot of weird stuff happening recently. Every time I step outside the door something strange occurs, causing my perception of the Universe to reshape itself very, very rapidly. Last week a fire erupted in my neighborhood. Power went out for three days. I carried rotting food down 11 flights of stairs, hauled up bags of ice on the return trip, and took sponge baths every morning since I had no hot water. Sirens screamed up and down the boulevards below, car accidents occurred because street lights did not function. Suspiciously, all the parking meters on these same blocks remained fully operational throughout this time frame. Traffic control officers did not direct traffic at uncontrolled intersections – they ticketed vehicles at expired electronic meters instead. Whole episode had a spooky, surreal quality to it, especially since I live in a spooky, old building.
The day after the power came back on I visited a local, cafeteria-style restaurant for breakfast. Still feeling rattled by recent events I picked up the wrong coffee pot. After filling my cup I noticed that the whole room had frozen and everyone was staring at me. “Ma’am! Ma’am!” a rabid employee was yelling at me. “You can’t use that pot!! Use the other one. The other one is for customers!” I slunk away, wondering how long he had been screaming “Ma’am! Ma’am!” before I even noticed him.
Other peculiar incidents have unfolded too:
– Last Tuesday I used a Groupon for a chemical peel. Both the receptionist and “medical aesthetician” made it very clear that they did not like to service customers who had Groupons. Totally nonplussed by their rudeness I drove home making idle comparisons in my head: imagine if I put my videos on sale and then got mad at customers for buying them..
– Today a cashier overcharged me at the car wash (same joint I normally frequent.) When I politely pointed out the error she shuffled her feet, looked downward, fingered the charge slip, waited for me to go away. A woman in line behind me glared at me with malice. Finally I suggested that the cashier refund me the difference in cash. Grudgingly she did so. The cleaning crew washed my car in record time. When I drove away I noticed that a few inexpensive items were missing. That has never happened there before today.
Interestingly, I have also been encountering greater numbers of people who exhibit impressive amounts of grace:
– An older gentleman in my building who wielded a flashlight, navigated up flight after flight of pitch black stairs with me, and offered to carry my groceries during the power outage.
– A wonderful lady in a local deli who always remembers my name even though half a year sometimes elapses between my visits. She treats everyone with warmth and probably triples the amount of business in that venue just by force of her personality. I saw her right after departing the “Ma’am! Ma’am!” coffee pot restaurant.
– Both the host and waitress at the Marina del Rey IHOP restaurant who treated me so graciously before my uncomfortable Groupon appointment. Early for the chemical peel I had walked into IHOP and started to walk back out because they were so busy. “I don’t want to take up a table and just drink coffee when you have so many people here.” I told the host when he asked why I was leaving. He insisted that I remain. Waitress was polite and awesome. I paid for coffee and left her a $5 tip. Wish I could have been a high roller and made a truly grandiose gesture 😉
– Before going to the car wash I tried an unfamiliar breakfast place today. It seemed prudent to find a new one after the mortifying “Ma’am! Ma’am!” episode. Staff at the new joint treated everyone with remarkable courtesy. An endless stream of nonpaying customers took ice and drinks from their soda fountain. One guy came in with a cooler. I am not kidding. Another man came in with a government-issued card to see if one of the employees could determine if he had funds for food available. She took her time to help him as best she could.
Wow, didn’t know I was going to write a novel tonight. I mention all this stuff because it seems like society is fracturing in two, one segment devolving into rudeness and incivility while the other half makes a steady, determined effort to treat others with the utmost courtesy and respect. I try my best each day to stay with the latter group. One of my alter egos (Dr. Danielle AKA Ms. Hyde in pics above) is apparently moving in the opposite direction.
Strange Case of Dr. Danielle and Ms. Hyde
Operating from a clandestine laboratory Dr. Danielle performs radical experimentation upon herself. Each day she ingests a carefully calibrated formula of phospholipids designed to seek out, obviate, destroy congenital abnormalities present in any living cell structure. On the morning of July 9 a powerful sense of agitation rocks the scientist’s body. With tremulous hands she grasps sweaty, pounding cranium until roiling emotions subside. Refusing to ponder source of her own angst Dr. Danielle plows through scheduled activities, making a series of irksome, uncharacteristic mistakes. At precisely 3:10PM she pours daily dose of green, bubbling fluid down her throat. Electricity hums, time melts, neurons sizzle. Delayed realization hits the doctor: she has neglected to add a key neutralizing ingredient to the chemical cocktail! Suffused with desperate adrenaline Dr. Danielle rips lab coat from body and watches with mute horror as large breasts, shapely buttocks explode from beneath jeans and T-shirt, reducing the once baggy garments to shreds. Powerful carnal impulses overtake all self control. The formerly chaste researcher masturbates fiendishly, consumed with overwhelming desire to locate sex partners of the male gender..
Strange Case of Dr. Danielle and Ms. Hyde will be coming soon to TanyaTV.com. I shall return tomorrow to answer blog comments. Intended to do it tonight but just exhausted myself with this post 😉 I feel soooooo much better after writing it. Was kinda depressed earlier. Hope everyone is having a great week!
P.S. Oddly, the text description for Strange Case of Dr. Danielle and Ms. Hyde took shape after the “Ma’am! Ma’am!” incident. Earlier that morning I was working at home when I decided to go to that place for breakfast. A fit of agitation seized me from out of nowhere. I literally had to stand up from my desk and shake it off. Looking back, I think it was a foreshadowing..
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