Am I Overreacting?



Remember this guy? He demanded a refund because I exposed Francesca Le’s breasts during a custom wrestling match. The individual in question is not one of “my” customers. He books me for videos through ringmaster/cameraman STJ so I have no direct contact with him.  Over three weeks ago he ordered a custom match of Santana and me. We scheduled the shoot for January 27. Evidently there is a 40% chance of rain on that date so STJ, who has an outdoor ring, asked me to provide some alternate dates. I did so. Earlier today he asked if we could move the shoot to this Sunday. Someone is coming to help me with home repairs on Sunday. In order to change the appointment I will have to pay the contractor $75. I told STJ that I will only shoot this Sunday if I receive an additional $75 as reimbursement for that fee. The customer who booked the match replaced me with a different model. STJ assured me that the customer will use me for other projects in the future. I told STJ that I have no interest in shooting for this customer ever again. Am I overreacting? (Above pics come from one of the many matches that Nicole Oring and I shot for the same man.)

XO Tanya



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16 thoughts on “Am I Overreacting?”

  1. Hi Tanya,

    Hm, it’s hard to say if that is an overreaction without more information, which you may or may not have. Was Sunday one of the alternate dates that you agreed to previously? If so, the custom might have been thrown that you made another appointment for that date that then increased the cost for him. And were there other alternate dates besides this Sunday that also could have worked for everyone, without conflicting with your contractor appointment? Or was there some reason why at this point it really HAD to be this Sunday? If it really had to be this Sunday, it’s possible the customer replaced you not out of spite but just because he didn’t have the extra money available to cover the unexpected cost increase. Personally, I know I tend to run on pretty tight margins for my discretionary spending. So if I have enough to request a custom video and agree on a price, I may not have any wiggle room in my finances to spend more on the video than I expected. I could see having to replace a model under these circumstances if the shoot winds up on a date for which the model needs to raise her rate, for whatever her reason. If I just don’t have it, but I still want to have the video made (and the date is firm), there would be no other option than to replace the model.

    These are just some things to consider. But again, I can’t form an opinion without more information. It’s entirely possible the customer was being a jerk, and given his past behavior, that would not be surprising.


    1. Hi pw,

      Thank you for your commentary. No, I had never agreed to Sunday as an alternate date. Tuesday, January 27 had always been the agreed-upon date. I had plenty of other days available too. Don’t know why the customer became fixated on Sunday, January 25. My available dates happened to be after January 27 so maybe he just wants the video as soon as possible. I will tell you one thing…

      There is a small chance of rain in the Los Angeles forecast. That’s what started all the rescheduling nonsense. I will find it amusing f it ends up raining on Sunday instead of Tuesday 😉


  2. Dear Tanya,

    You paint a somewhat multifaceted business scenario that is hard to clearly evaluate from outside.

    I can see your customer’s POV in that he shouldn’t be responsible for the complications in your schedule and chose to work with a different actress for this project.

    But on the other hand, your request for an additional (very small) amount of money to enable you to make the performance date shouldn’t have been a deal breaker for him either.

    Sincere question for your customer: “Who could really be worth $75 in replacing Tanya in a wrestling video?” Answer: “No one.”

    Were no other shooting dates available?

    As an isolated incident, I would respectfully submit that I do think you are being a bit hasty. But apparently this isn’t an isolated flappus with this particular customer.

    Sometimes the ‘straw that breaks the beautiful blonde wrestler’s back’ isn’t the worst thing in and of itself, but comes after a pile of other more odious straws.

    There are factors that I obviously don’t know about… would you mind losing the additional future work with this guy? Is it worth putting up with some caca for the work? If not, then making a break seems reasonable.

    What does STJ think about it all?

    I just this week passed along a job to someone else because the client has grown too complicated to deal with. It was nice work and a bit of a pill to swallow but I believe I made the right choice.

    Sometimes I have stood on principle, though, and found that I only hurt myself.

    All that said, as a fan of your work, I can say we don’t see enough of you….. You and Nicole, for instance, work exceptionally well together. Would hate to see you lose a productive patron. But if the guy is an ass-hat and it doesn’t make you happy to work for him then it’s time for an adios.

    You are a reasonable person, and obviously a successful businesswoman, Tanya. I’m sure you will make the right decision.

    I’m going to find a video of you and Nicole to watch, though, just in case. 😉


    1. Hi Mingori,

      Thanks for your input and for your kind words. The shoot had been scheduled for Tuesday, Jan 27. We scheduled it 3 weeks ago. There’s a 40% chance of rain that day so STJ asked if I had any alternate dates in case we got rained out. I had plenty of alternate dates but for some reason the customer became fixated on Sunday the 25th, a day on which I already have obligations.

      Don’t really know what STJ thinks but, as noted, this same guy has been causing lots of problems in recent times. No, I don’t mind missing out on the extra work.


  3. Hi Tanya! How often do you get rain in LA? I’m use to it snowing quite often, and no one gets concerned over a weather prediction unless it’s at 60% or better. That’s neither her nor there.
    To me your request seems quite reasonable. I do a lot of project management work and I learned a saying early on that a project is governed by scope, cost, and schedule and you can only have two of the three at any one time. So in this case, to change the schedule had a cost implication. Perfectly normal, and from my perspective should have been expected.
    Obviously being an “outsider” to your business I’m not familiar with the inner workings. It seems that if you requested certain models you would want to stay with that to make the story work. So this customer wants to cut scope by not staying with you (which scope includes quality) in favor of cost. Major blunder! If this customer intends to market the production then they’ll be loosing more money in the long term because you’re not in it.
    Hope the rest of your weekend improves! and good luck with your home repairs!

    P.S. If you can get back in the shoot and it’s eventually offered on your site, I’ll pay the $75 🙂

    1. Thanks, Don! I appreciate your opinion. The customer is a private collector so he wouldn’t have been marketing the video. What seemed odd to me was that he was so fixated on having the shoot happen on Sunday. I had plenty of other days. Got the feeling that he was just trying to create a problem, maybe trying to see if the models would jump through hoops. Who knows. We don’t get much rain here and the forecasters are always wrong. I would like to have that job. They just say whatever they want and never face any repercussions 😉


  4. Sometimes one has to go with the flow. He is obviously very pedantic. His complaint about ‘breast exposure’,in a wrestling match ,of that nature,is absurd. If he felt it was inappropriate,he should of requested it be a match in bikinis, with rules. One has to go with the flow,and you where being natural ,in the match. That makes it so much better. He should of been thrilled. If you can take the loss,I would not care to work for him again. What is the use ,of him asking for you,than not allowing you ,to be you . That is confining. Something an artist of your stature,should not endure.

  5. Dear Tanya,

    That seems like the right decision then, taking things into your own hands. Perhaps this fellow will get the message then if you refuse future work from him rather than assuming his own unreasonableness will call all the shots.

    I’m sure he can always save a bit of money and hire the notorious Frankie Zepperelli in your place.

    If he really does respect and value you and your work then such a tacit message from you will perhaps induce a change of behavior on his part.

    If he doesn’t show you the respect you are due then you have indeed made the right decision. Investing in self-respect always pays high dividends.

    stay awesome,


    1. Thanks, Mingori! Frankie Zeppelin? Is she still floating around? Agree with you on the customer. Seems like he wants to create problems more than he wants to create videos XO

  6. Seems to me this first occurred with the same customer just around the time I had you and Francesca Le shoot a custom for me a few months ago. A shoot was delayed or something and he threw a fit about it. So, in my very humble opinion, one time an asshole…. maybe give him the benefit of the doubt due to a bad day….. twice an asshole…. tell him to take his business somewhere else :-)! I think I’ve told you my thoughts on those folks who enjoy being asses…. I feel like I have enough good, decent people that I can deal with in my line of work where I can tell the haters to take their lousy disposition elsewhere. That’s my 2 cents :-)!!!

    1. Thank you, Phil!!! In fact, you were the very person who coined the phrase “ass hat”, at least on this message board. Maybe someday Merrill-Webster will include your name amidst the etymology for the term. At the very least you should be credited for bringing it to California 😉


  7. Lol Tanya…. I had completely forgotten using the “ass-hat” phrase the first time around. And maybe I can get some credit for introducing to California, but as far as the historical development of its meaning, I can guarantee its been around for eons here in Texas :-))))).

  8. Tanya,
    He sounds like a very difficult customer indeed. Clearly the rescheduling caused you to incur an out-of-pocket cost and it does not seem unreasonable at all they should reimburse you for that. If he doesn’t think you’re worth the extra $75 ….he is sadly mistaken. You already had a bad experience with him on the prior custom shoot. I would agree with you but I see no need to work for him again.

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