Transcendental Isolation

Luxurious accommodations (haha) for an itinerant pornographer/model.
Preparing for shoot in morning.
Returning to motel room as night falls before Christmas.

Good evening,

About a year ago I wrote a poem entitled Ballad of Isolation. Cameraman Jon White, also an accomplished musician, wanted to put a spoken word poem to music so I read Ballad of Isolation for him.  Song is now playing at Amazon, iTunes, and most other downloadable music sites. Love Jon’s music but still react oddly to the sound of my own voice. Some of you may recognize lyrics from this March 2016 post. Check out Ballad of Isolation when you get a chance. Words do come from the heart. Since Andy‘s passing I don’t have any friends in my neighborhood and also spend an inordinate amount of time in motel rooms. Briefly I became acquainted with a nice couple in my building but they got kicked out. Lol.. that’s just how the past few years have been. I feel intensely grateful for the blessings of my existence – especially all the wonderful people who visit me here at my blog and my good friends who reside in other regions of LA – but I have been wallowing in solitude for a while now. Above pics sum up situation very well: I could afford a marginally better motel room but why spend extra dough just to lie on unfamiliar sheets all by myself? Btw.. I never use creepy bedspread, always bring home-laundered blanket.

Hope I don’t sound like too much of a sad sack. This phase shall pass. Due to solitude I’ve expanded my mind in ways I never could have anticipated (thank you, I Ching.) Ballad of Isolation will eventually represent the past even though I still seem to be living it at the moment. Enough verbiage – I should post a nudie pic:

Isolate Incarnate

Honestly, I may get lonely at moments but I’m way happier and wiser than when I took above pic in 2008. The transition continues..

XO Tanya



Sample Ballad of Isolation now!

8 thoughts on “Transcendental Isolation”

  1. Hello Tanya,

    Although I sent you a message yesterday I really do feel that I have to comment on your latest blog, particularly since I have spent some time trying to order your Ballad of Isolation, but without success. I remember your March 2016 post very well and I can only reiterate what I said at the time : there are so many of us who really feel close to you (and not just because of the nudie pics!) and I hope that our support does help to get you through those difficult moments which we all experience.
    You are so special, dear Tanya, and I, for one, amongst many I am sure, remain devoted to you – thank you for being you,

    Stanley xxx

    1. Thank you so much, Stanley! Your words mean the world to me. Really. I am very touched by your kindness.

      In re. to Ballad of Isolation.. why were you not able to order it?


      1. Hello Tanya,

        My problems were with Amazon who would not accept my new credit card despite several attempts on my part. Don’t worry, I will get there.
        I’m so pleased that you got my message – I meant every word,

        Stanley xxx

  2. I don’t think you sound like a sad sack at all. If anything I love when you get ‘personal’ or share insights or feelings or thoughts. The nudie pics are always a bonus :p

    I sometimes forget a home blanket, but I always travel with lysol disenfectant and go to town with it everywhere and then let it air out for a bit. Can never be too careful. Plus remember you always have us anonymous individuals to share a message or two every now and then when things do get lonely.

    1. Thank you, Ned! I really appreciate your words. Sometimes I wonder if I share too much. It really does mean the world to me that I have like-minded people with whom I can correspond. As you mentioned in a previous comment, these days there are so many people who will not tolerate any point of view besides their own (a la the new, devolved Berkeley.) Thank you again!


  3. Jon is a great and funny photographer. Well with this Supermodel in the YouTube Clip I agree with him, that he has the best photoshooting Job in the world! By the way: somehow the back of the scenes in the Clip is well known in your photoshoots, Tanya. Check it out:

    1. Thank you, Paolo! Love that video. And, yes, I have spent many a day in that specific locale 😉

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