Batterram

Collecting Urban Legends

Good evening,

Ever get a song stuck in your head? You try to shake it but it plays for days on end. Last week I was chatting with a longtime resident of my neighborhood. Can’t remember what lead up to it but he gestured towards sparkling ocean, bobbing sailboats and said: “I was living here a long time before it became a tourist attraction. Do you remember how this looked in the 80s?” He launched into a parable featuring crack cocaine, rogue cops, Ronald Reagan’s War on Drugs. “The po-lice used to smash battering rams straight into dopehouses.” he reminisced. “They didn’t care who was in there – families, babies, whatever – they just smashed in before anyone could flush the drugs.” I listened with rapt attention, not entirely sure if he was exaggerating for effect or perhaps citing one or two isolated occurrences. He noticed my uncertainty. “Remember Batterram?” he asked. I didn’t think so. “You don’t remember Batterram?” he said with surprise. “C’mon.. ” he tried again. “Batterram!” As a last resort he pulled out his phone and played this video. Immediately engrossed I watched the entire presentation without speaking. Ever since then I hear Batterram in the morning, in the afternoon, in the evening, and in conjunction with any long, tubular object that crosses my field of vision (that happens a lot):

Batterram from “Milfettante”
Batterram from “Barbie Loves Black Cock”
Batterram from soon-to-be-released “Ghostbusted”

OK, I’m joking around a bit with the photos (have to include some nudie pics) but Batterram the song has staying power. Lol.. you’ll be singing it at your office if you watch this oddly compelling proto-music video.

Going to bed now but will return very soon to answer post comments. Sorry I have fallen behind on that – I do enjoy reading your thoughts. In the meantime I have put Land of Cameron on sale for $19.99 (normally $34.99) and added both Return to Sparta starring Ariel X vs. myself and Story of Now to my Diamond Club Members’ Area. Hope everyone is having a great week!

XO Tanya

 

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