Thank you for taking a moment to get to know me. I grew up about 40 miles south of San Francisco in a town called Atherton. Fear saturates my earliest memories. Everything seemed out of control. At the age of 4 I taught myself to read and began devouring every book I could find. My mother, on the advice of a psychologist, took away my library card shortly after I turned 8. I regard this as the pivotal event of my lifetime, a failed attempt at mind control. The censorship compelled me to start questioning both authority and the prevailing mores of society. Not long after the library card confiscation I discovered a different type of reading material: stash of nudie magazines at my father’s hunting lodge. Horrified, my mother labelled the magazines “filth” and told me that they degraded all women. I requested clarification of these notions and got an earful of meaningless static in return. The models in the magazines – Gallery and Oui, as I recall – didn’t look degraded to me. They looked confident, beautiful, and even a bit defiant. (Little did I know that someday I would appear in both publications – pics below.)
Years passed slowly. School bored me academically and terrified me socially. My teachers promoted me directly from third grade into fifth grade. The social chasm between my classmates and myself widened. Eventually my parents enrolled me in an all-girls high school in Palo Alto, probably hoping that a confined, highly structured atmosphere would help vanquish my lone wolf tendencies. It did not.
At 17 I moved to Southern California to attend the University of California, Los Angeles. Within two years I had dropped out of college to work full-time as a nude dancer at the now-defunct Century Theatre. Originally I had intended to “just take a quarter off” from school but I never went back. Expending energy in pursuit of a degree in history/art history didn’t seem all that compelling at the time. I had far too many questions about the world and about myself. Debauchery drew me like a magnet..
More to come.. I just got this site back online on Aug. 30, 2014 so I am reworking everything..
Lol.. today is October 22, 2014. Haven’t made much headway on this bio but I will do it soon.. XO Tanya
March 7, 2015 – Thought I would add a list of some of my favorite things..
- Favorite book: I Ching
- Favorite quote: “The most important decision we make is whether we believe we live in a friendly or hostile universe.”
– Albert Einstein
- Favorite poem: LIFEDANCE – by Charles Bukowski
The area dividing the brain and the soul
is affected in many ways by
some lose all mind and become soul:
some lose all soul and become mind:
some lose both and become: