Tag Archives: blonde

Red Hot Hypodermic

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Good evening,

I allowed myself to get a bit frustrated today over something really stupid. Things haven’t felt “normal” (whatever that may be) for quite a while. Recently I fell ill for several long weeks with fever, aches, and golf ball-sized lymph nodes in my right groin. After three surgeries in less than three years I really want to avoid any more medical bills so I consulted Dr. Google rather than visiting an MD. All my symptoms, including long length of illness, fit the description of toxoplasmosis. Humans can contract this disease from infected cats and, in fact, I had been fostering kittens with parasites throughout their neutering/vaccinating/deworming process.

In the past week my lymph nodes have finally begun shrinking back to normal size and I feel great. Shortly before Thanksgiving I bit the outside of my lower lip. I briefly cursed my stupidity and forgot about it. Then, days later, a prominent blister appeared. Dismayed, and unhappy about prospect of delaying upcoming shoots, I told myself: “It will go away soon.” Hopefully it will indeed vanish but today, upon sighting it in the mirror once again, I turned aggro, throwing a childlike hissy fit in the privacy of my home where no other humans (thank goodness) could see my embarrassing, self-indulgent histrionics.

Don’t know why I’m admitting any of this but situation has struck a nerve because I’m already juggling so many medical bills. Dr. Google tells me that I probably caused a mucous cyst when I bit my lip. It should resolve naturally but in some cases a doctor does have to remove a mucous cyst. Honestly, I tried to pop it with a sterilized needle but that didn’t work because it’s not a blister. Now I wonder if I caused myself worse problems. Anyways, I will stop acting like a baby. Maybe I will take up smoking like that broad in the top pic – she looks nice and relaxed.

Sorry for my rant. It did feel therapeutic. I should spend my hours helping others and counting blessings rather than whining about minutiae. If you are reading this post you may later discover that words have mysteriously vanished 🙂

Onward and upward.. aside from misguided antics with a sterilized needle I have accomplished a few things:

Will return to answer post comments in an hour or two. Hope everyone is having a pleasant Monday!

XO Tanya

 

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Black Swan

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(Pics above from Madeleine’s Mark)

Good afternoon,

I have pulled myself from bed after brief illness. Made a few lifestyle changes recently but want to see how they work out before I discuss them. Think alterations have shocked my body. Lymph nodes in left groin have exploded to sizes never seen. Last night I sweated with fever, gobbled ibuprofen for body aches. Do I have the flu or am I reacting to recent events? Not yet sure but I did have some trippy dreams. One of them featured a black swan nesting within my kitchen (or pantry?) light fixture. Even inside dream I reacted to black swan by staring fixedly and thinking: “Wow, that really is a black swan.”

During 2016 I have started listening almost exclusively to alternative media on YouTube for economic, political news because in this day and age mainstream radio primarily transmits propaganda. Alternative media makes frequent mention of potential black swan events which will adversely effect economy. I had never gazed upon a black swan til one surfaced in my dream last night. In honor of the omen (and sometimes omens do presage good things) I am putting Black Swan starring Goldie Blair and myself on sale for $11.99 (normally $22.99.)

While wracked with fever, body aches over past two nights I also rewrote some text:

Madeleine’s Mark

Legend of Madeleine’s Mark:

Moon beams as banished infidel,
Advancing soul from parts unknown,
Divinely guided but alone,
Encounters ravaged citadel.

Lost fortress strewn with mortar shell,
Excruciated human bone,
Irreverently toppled stone
Now offers up forbidden spell.

Ensconced in devastated site,
Submerged beneath dark, layered loam
Masked vagrant finds forgotten tome.

Alchemical book brightens light,
Rich gold explodes from honeycomb,
Kaboom! Deposed queen has come home!

After banishment from corrupt oligarchy Madeleine had wandered for years, stumbled upon remains of toppled fortress. Search of rubble lead to discovery of ancient tome containing alchemical secrets. Now possessing ability to create golden bullets – magic projectiles which will transfix enemies into quiescence – Madeleine prepares to leave indelible mark on society which had rejected her so long ago..

Previously I had released above video under title “Through the Looking Glass” but I had strange compulsion to redo text and change title to Madeleine’s Mark. I just added Madeleine’s Mark to my Clips4Sale store for the first time.

Hope everyone is having a nice weekend. I’m trying to rest up because I have a lot of shoots next week and want to be 100% healthy.

XO Tanya

 

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