Tag Archives: Milfsploitation

Batterram

Collecting Urban Legends

Good evening,

Ever get a song stuck in your head? You try to shake it but it plays for days on end. Last week I was chatting with a longtime resident of my neighborhood. Can’t remember what lead up to it but he gestured towards sparkling ocean, bobbing sailboats and said: “I was living here a long time before it became a tourist attraction. Do you remember how this looked in the 80s?” He launched into a parable featuring crack cocaine, rogue cops, Ronald Reagan’s War on Drugs. “The po-lice used to smash battering rams straight into dopehouses.” he reminisced. “They didn’t care who was in there – families, babies, whatever – they just smashed in before anyone could flush the drugs.” I listened with rapt attention, not entirely sure if he was exaggerating for effect or perhaps citing one or two isolated occurrences. He noticed my uncertainty. “Remember Batterram?” he asked. I didn’t think so. “You don’t remember Batterram?” he said with surprise. “C’mon.. ” he tried again. “Batterram!” As a last resort he pulled out his phone and played this video. Immediately engrossed I watched the entire presentation without speaking. Ever since then I hear Batterram in the morning, in the afternoon, in the evening, and in conjunction with any long, tubular object that crosses my field of vision (that happens a lot):

Batterram from “Milfettante”
Batterram from “Barbie Loves Black Cock”
Batterram from soon-to-be-released “Ghostbusted”

OK, I’m joking around a bit with the photos (have to include some nudie pics) but Batterram the song has staying power. Lol.. you’ll be singing it at your office if you watch this oddly compelling proto-music video.

Going to bed now but will return very soon to answer post comments. Sorry I have fallen behind on that – I do enjoy reading your thoughts. In the meantime I have put Land of Cameron on sale for $19.99 (normally $34.99) and added both Return to Sparta starring Ariel X vs. myself and Story of Now to my Diamond Club Members’ Area. Hope everyone is having a great week!

XO Tanya

 

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Holi-glaze

Good afternoon,

Do I look a bit glazed in above pics from December 22? Aside from fake cumshot I was already feeling effects of an uncommonly festive Christmas season. Generally I do little for holidays but lately I’ve been attempting to improve my social life. Think I went a tad too far. Put it this way.. on January 1 a friend and I embarked on a 30-day stint of sobriety. Only people with overtaxed livers bother doing stuff like that. After nearly two weeks I feel great, have discovered a lot more hours in each day.

Today, while editing photos for soon-to-be-released video Holi-glaze I gazed into desktop snow globe (same one featured in Magic Janet) and came up with this promotional text for Holi-glaze:

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Transparent sphere contains lingerie-clad sylph getting doused with snow each time someone turns globe upside down. Man chuckles at novelty, reads accompanying placard:

“Month after month lone secretary dreams,
Year passes through spring, summer, liquid fall,
Soon Christmas vision shatters crystal ball.
Tis season for diabolical schemes,
Enchanted machinations, wild extremes,
Rich fantasy swirls like fast-building squall,
Yields hurricane force lust, delicious thrall
Punctuated by loud orgasmic screams.

Advancing maelstrom traces serpentine
Course over rapidly debauched terrain,
Kaboom! Splash! Landfall on pristine demesne!
Awake now, soaked like snow globe figurine,
Glazed secretary simply can’t explain
Exotic frosting from monsoon unseen.. ”

Slightly puzzled but mainly disinterested man turns from display to find collectibles dealer staring at him. “Very successful entrepreneur created snow globe, wrote magic spell in 1963.” dealer remarks. “Claimed he could seduce any female employee by placing globe on her desk.” Visitor nods politely at this questionable piece of trivia, prepares to leave store. “Sell it to you for $50. Bet you know a lovely lass whose heart you want to capture.” proprietor says with a wink. Feeling strangely obligated man buys item, presents impromptu purchase to to secretary as gag Christmas gift, promptly forgets all about it..

Looks like snow globe worked its magic on secretary:

Btw.. during shooting of Holi-glaze I told cameraman Jon White about a fellow whom I had recently met at a donut shop. Since I date so rarely (OK, never) I asked Jon for advice on whether I should text number man had given me. Jon encouraged me to do so. Shortly before New Year’s Eve man and I met for coffee. We enjoyed a nice conversation and stayed in phone contact. Throughout these days we never discussed anything of a sexual nature. On January 4 (just checked phone) he sent me a photo of his dick. In a subsequent message he bragged of his sexual prowess, suggesting that he might “ruin” me for any other man. I permitted myself one or two sarcastic responses before cutting off all contact. Have I turned into a prude? Do most women tolerate (enjoy?) unsolicited dick pics from relative strangers? Good grief. Suffice it to say that I’d rather stare into my snow globe and write sonnets than hang out with a misguided purveyor of poorly photographed penis (there was even a toilet seat in background of shot.)

Unsurprisingly, I will be staying home tonight. Plan to answer blog comments right after I complete a few updates. Hope everyone is having a great weekend ūüôā

XO Tanya

 

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Jumble

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Good evening,

Looks like milf extraordinaire Mrs. Hamilton is grabbing throttle of a speedboat as she powers through pristine ocean waters. Actually, she has taken a far different type of excursion:

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Tanya Hamilton scrutinizes every aspect of Highway 6 landscape while restless mind narrates third person travelogue:

“Haunted highway, lonely truck stop,
Asphalt flanked by agriculture,
U-shaped burger joint with car hop.

Nighttime driver smokes red sulphur,
Traces path of circling vulture,
Enters twilight zone gone viral,
Donuts into endless SPIRAL…… !!!

Car spins wildly out of control, scarring pavement with black circles before landing in ditch next to donut shop. Shaken, Mrs.¬†Hamilton adjusts chignon, climbs from vehicle. Shop proprietor offers sympathetic greeting, steaming cup of joe. “Must’ve nodded off there..” he says. “Happens all the time on this forsaken highway.”

Slipping into plastic yellow booth grateful traveler watches red neon sign letters illuminate themselves one by one to spell out “HOOTERS DONUT”. First “T” in sequence flickers spasmodically, as if wiring or bulbs cannot function much longer in present condition. Reflecting on recent activities Mrs. Hamilton feels similarly discombobulated. How had she succumbed to sexual advances of 18-year-old family friend?? Despite impromptu road trip homemaker cannot escape memories. “No one will ever know about affair.” she tries to reassure self. “And it doesn’t count as lying if no one ever asks me about it.” Nervously she twists wedding ring on finger, stares out window into moonless night.

Like tiles in cosmic game of Jumble flickering neon letters suddenly exchange positions to form new message: “DO UNTO OTHERS”. Scorched by red neon fury Christian housewife nearly loses consciousness for third time in less than a week..

Will Mrs. Hamilton ever reassemble what remains of her jumbled conscience? Probably not. Check out the good time she had in Red Neon Fury.

How does that scheming housewife sleep at night?

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ūüôā

XO Tanya

 

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Red Hot Hypodermic

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Good evening,

I allowed myself to get a bit frustrated today over something really stupid. Things haven’t felt “normal” (whatever that may be) for quite a while. Recently I fell ill for several long weeks with fever, aches, and golf ball-sized lymph nodes in my right groin. After three surgeries in less than three years I really want to avoid any more medical bills so I consulted Dr. Google rather than visiting an MD. All my symptoms, including long length of illness, fit the description of toxoplasmosis. Humans can contract this disease from infected cats and, in fact, I had been fostering¬†kittens with parasites throughout their neutering/vaccinating/deworming process.

In the past week my lymph nodes have finally begun shrinking back to normal size and I feel great. Shortly before Thanksgiving I bit the outside of my lower lip. I briefly cursed my stupidity and forgot about it. Then, days later, a prominent blister appeared. Dismayed, and unhappy about prospect of delaying¬†upcoming shoots, I told myself: “It will go away soon.” Hopefully it will indeed vanish but today, upon sighting it in the mirror once again, I turned aggro, throwing a childlike hissy fit in the privacy of my home where no other humans (thank goodness) could see my embarrassing, self-indulgent histrionics.

Don’t know why I’m admitting any of this but situation has¬†struck a nerve because I’m already juggling so many medical bills. Dr. Google tells me that I probably caused a mucous cyst¬†when I bit my lip. It should resolve naturally but in some cases a doctor does have to remove a mucous cyst. Honestly, I tried to pop it with a sterilized needle but that didn’t work because it’s not a blister. Now I wonder if I caused myself worse problems. Anyways, I¬†will stop acting like a baby. Maybe I will take up smoking like that broad in the top pic – she looks nice and relaxed.

Sorry for my rant. It did feel therapeutic. I should spend my hours helping others and counting blessings rather than whining about minutiae. If you are reading this post you may later discover that words have mysteriously vanished ūüôā

Onward and upward.. aside from misguided antics with a sterilized needle I have accomplished a few things:

Will return to answer post comments in an hour or two. Hope everyone is having a pleasant Monday!

XO Tanya

 

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Hotline

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Good evening,

I am starting a new phone sex hotline from my home. Just kidding. Above photos from February 2015 surfaced inside my computer tonight. Looks like milf extraordinaire Mrs. Hamilton was enjoying some naughty conversation although, honestly, I will have to locate footage to know what was really going on there. Mrs. Hamilton has lots of randy adventures ūüėČ

Hope fellow Americans enjoyed a nice Thanksgiving. I had a wonderful dinner at the home of a good friend’s family. Since returning to my corner of LA I have hit a few donut shops for morning coffee and mostly been working on updates:

About to forage in my refrigerator for dinner but nothing will compare to the awesome food I had on Thanksgiving. Soooooo good.. Normally I hibernate for the holidays so Thursday was a special occasion with a group of really gracious, friendly, interesting people. I felt very honored and grateful to share their company and intend to act like less of a grinch this yuletide season ūüėČ

XO Tanya

 

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Magic 8 Ball

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Good evening,

I greet you from home as sun sets over Pacific Ocean – very beautiful day here. Earlier I picked up my mail and would like to thank the anonymous individual(s?) who sent me a gorgeous set of gemstone/stainless steel earrings and an extraordinarily sexy black camisole with matching thong. Muuuaaahhhh!!!! You will be seeing gifts soon in upcoming videos. I really appreciate your thoughtfulness and generosity.

Night has fallen outside – sun disappeared as I was typing last paragraph. Valets at steakhouse across street seem to be preparing for big turnout but rest of neighborhood looks quiet, unlike this morning. Around 9AM I felt like a pinball rolling from adventure to adventure as various people created havoc in the vicinity. On first block man was challenging motel management to throw him off property, on second block couple was brawling over plastic lighter, at Starbucks (thanks for gift card, Phil!) an individual began convulsing on the ground behind me.¬†“I smoked a whole eight ball and I’m having a heart attack! Somebody help me!” he¬†yelled in distress. His companion gazed down at him, unimpressed. After a moment man jumped to his feet, began laughing. Two European tourists clapped their approval. Does the term “eight ball” have universal significance?

Speaking of eight balls.. words just reminded me of a great scene (#25) that I did with incomparable Darla Crane for Seymour Butts’ TushyGirl Video Magazine. I also appear in Scene 4 with blonde beauty McKayla Matthews. Check out my tryst with Darla – quite sure a magic eight ball is rolling around there somewhere ūüėČ

Tonight I will be editing photos from milf extraordinaire Mrs. Hamilton’s latest adventure (pics above from video tentatively entitled Red Neon Fury. ) Hope everyone is having a great Friday!

XO Tanya

P.S. Just looked more carefully at the TushyGirl movie and it appears that I’m in Scene 15-16 with Seymour as well.

 

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Lonely Lady

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Good evening,

I have embarked upon a mission which I will describe soon – for now I feel like letting details rest so I can reexamine them with fresh vigor in the morning. All peaceful here at my abode but past weekend literally made me wonder if US government has started passing out free narcotics in the street.

Everything began innocently enough at a donut shop across town. A large man wandered in, sat down and began eating a jar of olives. “Customer only.. customer only, please..” proprietress called out to him, politely urging him to relinquish his seat since he hadn’t purchased any food inside the establishment. “I gotcha, sister.. I gotcha.. ” the man responded good-naturedly. While rising from table he caught sight of me. “What do you do for a living?” he inquired. For some reason two people at a nearby table also turned to hear my answer. On the spot I glanced at notepad in front of me, sorta gestured with ballpoint pen in hand and stammered: “I’m.. ¬†a writer.” The man gazed at me speculatively. We regarded one another. “The Lonely Lady”. he said after a few long moments. “The Lonely Lady.. it’s a really good book. You should read it.” He nodded affirmatively, stared at me harder. I felt myself sigh, knew he was appraising me and that “Lonely Lady” was his accurate assessment. He seemed to relish my discomfiture but we parted amicably. On his way out the door he said “The Loooonely Laady” a few more times as if he enjoyed hearing the words roll off his tongue.

Yet again I missed Andy, my solitary friend in this far corner of Los Angeles County where I reside. No one else lives close enough to simply hit a donut shop with me. I chat with some of my neighbors but don’t know any of them very well. Thinking of Andy I finished my coffee and trudged out the door. For 3 blocks I walked alone and then heard someone running up behind me.¬†Whipping around I recognized a guy I met recently. Happy to see a friendly face I invited him to join me on an errand. We chatted companionably until he said one or two odd things. I looked at him more carefully, noticing something of a wild look in his blue eyes.

As we proceeded down the sidewalk he began accosting passersby with strange accusations. (“I saw you last night. Don’t you remember me? Why are you pretending you don’t know me?”) Then he wanted to change his shirt. As he pulled off one garment and replaced it with another I couldn’t help but notice the dichotomy between his healthy, muscular physique and the clearly drug-induced paranoia in his face. How had his mental faculties deteriorated so rapidly without his body showing any signs of strain? He and I resumed walking til he flopped down on a wide metal post, still convinced that various strangers were involved in some type of conspiracy against him. By now his agitated behavior was attracting attention but I didn’t want to abandon him there. Gamely or lamely I tried to keep him engaged in conversation, hoping he would calm down. A tattoo on his leg looked familiar but I couldn’t place its significance. “What do those two crossed hammers in the circle represent?” I asked him. “Why don’t you sit down in my lap and I’ll tell you about it.” he responded nastily. Although I disliked leaving him to be a spectacle on the street I had to go. For at least half a block he yelled stuff at my retreating figure.

The following morning I visited a nice, safe corporate-run establishment: Subway Sandwiches. Through the window I watched as one homeless man beat another to a bloody pulp. Loser of the battle collapsed in the gutter as his cart of recyclables rolled slowly into oncoming traffic. Soaked from hair to waist in blood he became combative once again when paramedics arrived. Only a proffered cigarette seemed to quell his ire.

On Labor Day I went to the Port of Long Beach to see three gargantuan Hanjin vessels stranded like lost souls in the harbor. Spectacle seemed surreal and, for the first time ever, I honored the Labor Day holiday by actually pondering economic/labor issues. Usually Labor Day just passes by in a blur of barbecue smoke and alcohol. A young man in swim trunks approached me at the coastline. “You look sad.” he said. “Do you need a hug?” He did make me smile.

Anyways, the long weekend has come and gone. Where was Mrs. Hamilton in all this? She always knows what to do..

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Looks like Mrs. H drank too much and got herself in trouble. Photos come from upcoming video Vertigo which I am still preparing for release. Hope this post doesn’t come off as a complaining rant – I just felt like expunging the last few days onto my keyboard. All quiet on homefront now. Will return in the morning to answer post comments. Hope everyone is having a great week!

XO Tanya

P.S. I reject “Lonely Lady” moniker. Mrs. Hamilton’s alter ego shall ride again ūüėČ

 

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My Fair City

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Greetings,

This past week I suffered an attack of vertigo while driving. At the wheel I had trouble differentiating between vertigo and panic but did manage to pull vehicle safely to side of road and crawl into backseat. It felt like my body was attacking me. Mystical underwater scenes (kind of like top pic of trippy street art) unfolded in my mind as I lost sense of reality.  Finally I recovered to find myself parked in front of a Sons of Italy lodge.

Not really wanting to drive but also not wanting to bother anyone to come get me I motored to nearby donut shop which I visit periodically.¬†After nightfall¬†this joint secures their entire cash register/kitchen area behind interlocking¬†plexiglass shields but they generally open windows in the plexiglass during daylight hours. On this particular afternoon I found all shields locked and an empty bottle of Taaka gracing a tabletop. Clearly they had been experiencing some difficulties. I ordered a coffee which materialized through a labyrinthine passageway designed to prevent anyone from leveling¬†a gun directly at employees. Strong¬†sunlight induced me to sit in a booth which faced the back of the room instead of toward the street. Wish I hadn’t done that.

Not long after my arrival a loud argument erupted in the parking lot. “Give me my motherf*cking money! I want all my motherf*cking money!” someone was yelling. “Hand it over now, n*gger, before I beat your motherf*cking ass!” Although tempted to turn around I knew I should mind my own business. A man at a nearby table had no such compunction. He darted to the other side of his booth so he could shamelessly rubberneck at the spectacle from an improved vantage point. I ventured a long enough glance at the parking lot to see four large black men embroiled in a very loud dispute. Redirecting attention to notebook in front of me I continued to hear yelling, arguments and later some laughter arising from outdoor confrontation. After draining coffee I rose to leave. That’s when I saw two men in the parking lot, clad only in underwear, angrily putting on their clothes. What had I missed?? Two other men still loomed over the semi-naked ones and spectators gawked unabashedly in the distance. I cursed myself for the earlier restraint I had exhibited. Lol.. milf extraordinaire Mrs. Hamilton would have found a way to throw herself right into the mix..

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Day ended on a high note. Upon returning home I Googled “cure for vertigo” and ¬†found an extraordinary video which both explains the condition and provides a viable cure which can halt future attacks. Feeling renewed¬†I decided to use incident for text description of upcoming release, Vertigo,¬†in which redoubtable Mrs. Hamilton experiences a fainting spell (pics in purple blouse.)

Just checked footage.. looks like I shot Vertigo on November 1, 2015.¬†Video likely would have languished in personal library for years if real vertigo hadn’t prompted me to remember it. I will release Mrs. Hamilton’s fainting episode (and consequential exploitation) later this week at TanyaTV.com. Hope everyone is having a pleasant Monday!

XO Tanya

 

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Garden of Melon

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Mrs. Hamilton instructs English students to compose envelope quintets on subject of choosing. Amongst completed assignments appears this submission from Prinzzess Felicity Jade:

Garden of Melon

Casaba, honeydew, papaya, quince –
Rich, fruity horticultural reserves
Used for speed bags, drills, target practice thence
Smashed into jam, pie filling, sweet preserves.
Heed warning, Temptress, hide your succulence!

Disconcerted by words Mrs. Hamilton unconsciously raises hand to cleavage, wonders if Prinzzess might be leveling some type of threat. Admittedly English teacher has used large breasts to seduce numerous 18-year-old male pupils but Prinzzess can’t know that, can she? Dismissing notion educator slashes red “C-” across page, returns it to Prinzzess the following morning. Several hours later classroom door flies open to reveal pair of stunningly feral, catlike eyes. “Stay away from my boyfriend.” Prinzzess hisses ferociously, clouds of yellow fire emitting from hazel irises. “Or I will smash your huge tits into oblivion!!” Naturally Mrs. Hamilton will brook no such disrespect from a mere student..

Prinzzess Felicity Jade and Tanya Danielle star in Garden of Melon, a brutal topless catfight which pits hot teacher against nubile student. Punching, choking, breast mauling, nipple torture, wedgies, crotch grabbing, stomping, decisive KO ensue. Download Garden of Melon at TanyaTV.com.

 

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Long, Hot Summer

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Good evening,

Tanya¬†Hamilton, reigning Mrs. Parker City 2016, seems to have gotten herself worked up over something. Lol.. bottom shots look like they come from a computerized tavern game where you have to discern “What makes these two photos different?” Cameraman Jon White¬†snapped pics during July 8, 2016 shooting of Venal Code:

Venal Code

“Vagina overflows with revelry,
Elixirs soon evaporate to mist,
Nirvana vanishes like setting sun
As willing victim revisits dark tryst,
Lewd acts, unmitigated devilry.”

Distractedly Mrs. Parker City Tanya Hamilton composes verses, tosses pen onto leatherbound journal. In last 24 hours vagina – seemingly without consent of brain – had exploded in orgasm, creating beautiful afterglow which evaporated along with pussy juices. Now pageant winner must face consequences of tryst with 18-year-old temptress. Still ensconced in rumpled bed sheets Mrs. Hamilton realizes that fleeting state of sexual nirvana has permanently corrupted both her code of ethics and what remains of yearlong reign. Lust, guilt, treachery, repentance swirl like a maelstrom. “I should have halted this venal sojourn while I still could.” beauty queen says aloud..

Milfsploitation fantasy Venal Code features disgraced beauty queen, outfit changes, photo shoot, older woman/younger woman theme, magic elixir, forced masturbation, dildo fucking, butt plug, double penetration, forced orgasm, explosive anger. Venal Code available for download at TanyaTV.com.

Maybe Mrs. Parker City 2016 should cool down with a nice, stiff drink:

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Come to think of it.. I can probably use one too. Hope everyone is having a great weekend!

XO Tanya

 

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Suburban Legend

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Suburban Legend

“Lissome figure strolls dark hallways,
Enters skeleton key in lock,
Glides across dimensional maze,
Easily awakens black rock
Netherflesh volcano which sprays
Dripping, Dionysian shock.”

Crude, coded legend, handed down by generations of fathers, stuns chambermaid. “People really believe that the ghost of Hamilton House comes here to.. to.. ” maid struggles for words. “.. to obtain the seminal fluids of dark-skinned male guests??” Butler nods sagely , explains further. “A distinguished family, the Hamiltons, occupied this mansion long before it became a bed and breakfast inn. Matriarch Tanya Hamilton began an interracial love affair which destroyed marriage, family, social standing, and career. To this day Tanya’s ghost revisits the ancestral Hamilton home, condemned to endlessly repeat the same mistakes which ruined her life. Let me tell you how it all began.. “

Tanya Danielle stars as Mrs. Hamilton in Suburban Legend, a milfsploitation fantasy featuring multiple outfit changes, microbikini, interracial theme, rising tension, POV blowjob on dildo, facial cumshot. Download Suburban Legend at TanyaTV.com today.

 

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Lunar Charm

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Good evening,

Full buck moon is looming outside my window – so beautiful! Many thanks to Don and Mikey for the lovely presents I received over the weekend. Shoulder bag, compass, Avatar costume, and lipstick put a huge smile on my face. Muuuuaaaahhhhh!!!! Huge kisses to both of you. Hopefully we are all gazing upon the same orange moon this Tuesday because it looks just stunning.

Photos above come from July 8 shoot. Yes, milf extraordinaire Mrs. Hamilton has gone back on the prowl ūüėČ

XO Tanya

 

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Milftown USA

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Good afternoon,

This day has flown right past me. Seems like I just got up to move my car at 7am and, lo and behold, the clock now reads 3:45pm. Thought I would follow up my drunken bar photos with a few shots of milf extraordinaire Mrs. Hamilton from Milftown USA. Evidently housewife has once again become subject of gossip in her hometown of Parker City:

Milftown USA

White-breasted swallows perform stunning aerialist maneuvers against rich shades of fuchsia, scarlet, purple. Within minutes  vibrant colors dissolve to gray, birds migrate over horizon. From semi-private balcony Mrs. Hamilton ponders afternoon transgressions, wondering if they will fade like the sunset or eventually return home to roost with the swallows. Idly she records impromptu poem in journal:

“Multi-hued clouds radiate fire,
Iridescent birds soar higher,
Luminous tableau becomes grey,
Fading memory of lost day.
Tangerine moon, twinkling stars rise
Over loose lips, scandalized eyes.
Word spreads quickly, triggering shock:
Naughty housewife loves big, black cock!”

Will star-crossed Mrs. Hamilton ever recover her reputation? Probably not. Hope everyone is having a great Wednesday!

XO Tanya

 

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Mrs. Hamilton Returns

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Good evening,

Mrs. Hamilton returns. And she has a stunning secret (pics above from just released Reverse Alchemy.) ¬†Sorry for my long absence. I took some great opportunities in March to do a lot of shooting. You know that old expression “Keep going til the wheels come off”? Well, a wheel literally fell off my suitcase. Very glad to be sleeping at home tonight in my brand new Peach Skin sheets. Thank you, Don, for the lovely gift!!! Sheets feel even more luxurious than I had imagined, especially after a few too many¬†stays at roadside establishments:

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Exhausted, must get some rest, but looking forward to answering post comments in morning. Hope everyone is doing well!

XO Tanya

 

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Sweet Valentine

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Good evening,

Valentine’s Day 2016 continued this weekend when I drove to Venice and picked up my mail. Thank you soooo much, Don and Mikey, for the lovely gifts! You¬†each have delighted me once again with your thoughtfulness and generosity. May good karma revisit you quickly, copiously, and¬†unexpectedly. Muuuaaahhhh!!! Don, I will have you know that your pictogram portrait of a smiling cat warrants its own cartoon series¬† >^..^<

An item of a rather different nature also arrived at my mailbox. Evidently a fellow postal center customer is facing felony charges after an altercation with parking lot security. He sent a mass mailing to all box holders requesting testimony from anyone else who had endured a run-in with security staff. I e-mailed his attorney with my account of an odd episode which occurred in 2014:

.. I am¬†writing in reference to Case # XXXXXXX. Yesterday I received a letter from “Mr. X”, fellow tenant at Marina Postal Center, 2554 Lincoln Blvd., Venice, CA 90291 where I have received my mail for the past twenty years. In his correspondence Mr.¬†X requested that anyone who had experienced problems with security personnel working near Marina Postal Center premises in 2014 please contact you. In that same year I had¬†visited¬†a local business¬†and then walked across the street to get my mail at Marina Postal Center. A man began bellowing at me as I passed through the parking lot behind the postal center. Confused as to why anyone would address me in such a disrespectful manner I simply kept walking. The man stepped into my path, several inches from my face, and refused to allow me to pass. He asked if I knew why he was stopping me. I had no idea. He ordered me to remove my car from the parking lot and informed me that he would have it towed away if I refused. Since I had arrived on foot I stared at him in disbelief, told him to go right ahead, and then stepped around him to continue into the postal center. I would describe the security guard as a large, muscular, dark-skinned black man, probably near 6 feet in height. Sorry I did not write sooner but I only pick up my mail 2-3 times a month and saw Mr. X’s letter for the first time yesterday evening. Please feel free to contact me if¬† can provide any help.

Although my¬†story seems kind of underwhelming I decided to alert X’s attorney because security¬†man really had a screw loose. On the day he confronted me I recall thinking: “This¬†guy is going to end up in a lawsuit with someone.” Later I learned that he had threatened to taser another customer’s dog. After sending¬†above e-mail I resumed work on¬†upcoming release Brutal Jamal, an interracial milfsploitation fantasy starring none other than morally challenged Mrs. Hamilton. Someone would have needed to cue the porn music if Mrs. Hamilton had encountered that same security guard:

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Lol.. no, life does not imitate art. I would not have given that guard the time of day, let alone a blowjob.

Anyways, going to try and post Brutal Jamal before I go to bed tonight. Will return in morning to answer post comments. Hope everyone is having a great weekend!

XO Tanya

 

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Live, Nude Theatre

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Good morning,

In recently released video Live, Nude Theatre my alter ego Mayor Hamilton has just returned from viewing battered remnants of a now defunct nude showclub in her town:

Live, Nude Theatre

Grace,
Beauty,
Formless like fire,
Dancer reaches zenith,
Burns atop pyre.

Torchlight illuminates remains of nude theatre, triggering odd sense of desolation in politician who forced its closure. Ghostly images besiege mind, caress subconscious, rattle nerves. Sudden activity rocks atmosphere.

Mirrors crack,
Pipe shatters,
Ceiling rains,
Crystal spikes,
Into scarred marble veins.

Mayor Hamilton drops light source, flees building. Thirty minutes later she encounters bikini-clad daughter, best friend sunbathing in backyard. Hastily retreating to den Mrs. Hamilton masturbates wildly, almost as if spirits from dance hall have consumed her soul.. Download Live, Nude Theatre at TanyaTV.com.

Someone asked why I used so many seeming drug references in the description for Live, Nude Theatre. “Crystal spikes” refer to¬†pendants¬†from a¬†chandelier and “scarred marble veins” refer to pockmarked, old marble stage scuffed by endless parade of stilettos. Despite her opposition to adult entertainment Mayor Hamilton becomes intoxicated¬†during her visit to this¬†sexually charged¬†environment.¬†Somehow it¬†seemed fitting to mention mirrors and a crack pipe in there too, probably because I had just begun composing video¬†promo¬†on the¬†morning I bumbled into the handjob park¬†(where every possible type of illicit behavior seemed to be taking place.)

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XO Tanya

 

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